Wot So Funee – Unintentional Smut From My Four Year Old

Today I took dinner round to our friends who’ve just had their third baby. The new addition is totes adorbs! I got both cuddles AND broody. Score!

But meeting one of the newest people in the World isn’t the point of this post, nay, more the conversation I had with my daughter before she went to bed this evening. Picture the scene, Roo and I are lounging on the sofa, looking at some photos of me and Ross, and her, and my Dad, when she asks me:

“Mummy, where is Elliot in that photo?”

“He wasn’t made yet, poppet, you were a tiny baby then”

She ponders this thought for a moment, and her mind is clearly blown. He wasn’t made yet? But.. but… WHAT? Then comes the question that all parents dread. The five words that render mums and dads everywhere into embarrassed, gibbering imbeciles.

“Mummy, how are babies made?”

I just went for it, I mean, why not? It’s not like I am going to go into specifics.

“Well, hun-bun, mummy and daddy had a special cuddle and then daddy put his seed in mummy, and a baby grew.”

She was quiet for a minute, and I thought that was the end of that, until her pièce de résistance:

“Where does he put his seed? In your mouth?”

…

“Mummy, why are you laughing?”