Wot So Funee? Haribo Heart Sweets En Français

wot-so-funeeThis evening, Roo took ages to go to sleep. Ages. She’d read her books and watched the lava lamp, but by the time we’d finished dinner, she was crying into her pillow.  Fortunately we are visiting my Mum, which means my sister is around, and there is nothing my kid likes more than a good late night chinwag with her aunt.

Megan just came downstairs chuckling to herself.  She’d been talking nonsense with Roo, and they’d been making up words.  Ruby had turned around and said,


“What did you say?” Megan had exclaimed. I’d like to say she was shocked at such an angelic child could have such a potty mouth, but that would be an untruth. As sweet as she looks, Roo has been known to swear in her four short years.  Once even at nursery when, aged two, she refused to join in by exclaiming ‘NO, FUCK” to her key person.  Anyway, I know exactly where she got shitface from; my lovely Granny.  She’s the best, most hilarious lady I know.  She is mischievous and has grown old wonderfully disgracefully.  She is the matriarch of the family and is fiercely protective of all of us.  We are her pack.  She also says all sorts of inappropriate things infront of my kids, including the odd swearword, but always accompanied by a cheeky wink.

“Honeybunch” Ruby giggled.  Cleverly omitting shitface.

“And what was the other word?”

“…Shitface”, she whispered.

“You can’t say that, Ruby, it’s a naughty word.  What do you think it means?”

“It means Haribo heart sweets, in French”

…Oh really? Sixty-five million French people might just disagree with you there, poppet.

This is linked up to Actually Mummy’s Wot So Funny blog hop.  For more tales of kid hilarity, click the badge at the top of the post.

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  1. LOVE it! She is priceless :) Aaaah the things they come out with. LL came up with the names ‘spit’ and ‘swallow’ for her toy bunnies today which pretty much frightened the crap out of me! I also may have giggled a little :/

  2. Brilliant! Impressed that she knew the exact French translation. Sort of. My brother always calls the kids ‘nob ‘eads’. I tell them it’s a bad name and we just have to ignore it! They know most swear words, they just don’t say them!

  3. Oh she’s adorable! (And I mean Granny there, I’m so going to go back to being disgraceful once my kids are old enough to cope ;) Sweet-heart: shitface – I can see the link, kind of…

  4. Have haribo been sending out subliminal messages in their advertising?? That’s brilliant. Good to hear that Granny’s misbehaving as all good Grannies should. My own Grandma kept telling me to put brandy in my babies’ bottles (I exclusively breastfed both of them). Passing on top tips down the generations….:-)

  5. Oh that is so funny, i bet the key worker at nursery was taken back when she was 2 LⓞL. your granny sounds perfect ps its always good to blame the french hehe naughty granny.

  6. When my oldest was 3 I got told by the lovely lady at his nursery that he’d dropped something on the floor and declared “oh bollocks”…..I blamed his Dad!
    I love that Haribo mean shitface. Who’d have ever thought. There could be a whole new way of talking, using sweets instead of expletives… :D

    1. I love the idea of using sweets as expletives!

      “OH HARIBO! I’ve dropped my Twixing cup of coffee”

      Or something ;)

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