Earlier on today, my daughter sidled up to me and sweetly asked if I liked her “actitubes”. Her eyes were blue and wide, she was flashing her most charming of smiles and flicked over her face, was a single blonde ringlet.
She is a very beguiling child. She looks as if butter wouldn’t melt.
But one thing you should know about Ruby, is that she is the Little Girl with the Little Curl.
By actitubes she means attitude, and lately hers has been somewhat whiffy.
But also, absolutely blinking hilarious.
Yesterday, the children were invited to have tea at a friend’s house. Off we went, armed with Elliot’s birthday cake for pudding, and made it into a bit of a party. My lovely friend cooked a really tasty cottage pie and salady bits and pieces, and then guess who began to play up?
Beguiling Ruby.
Actually, she’d been in an odd mood all day, roaring at my mate Dee, who came round for coffee before we went out, and point blank refusing to join in play with her friend and their neighbours in the garden.
But the pièce de résistance was whilst everyone was sitting round the dinner table.
“Get me a spoon!” she demanded, after refusing to eat her dinner and generally behaving like a bit of a madam.
“Where are your manners, Ruby?” I said, using The Tone. All parents know The Tone. We bring it out when our kids are showing us up at friend’s houses, or in shops, or anywhere we feel that a) we might be judged or b) we need to exert some authority and get the little heathens to behave.
“What do you say?”
She stared me dead in the eye. It was like some kind of parent-child stand off. Her eyes glinted slightly, and it was at that very moment I knew I’d lost. She had me, right there at the dinner table with my husband, my friend, her neighbour, and a whole bunch of kids. No authority exerted whatsoever. The nameplate on her desk reads Ruby C, CEO, and mine? Well, it might as well read Mummy Mail Clerk.
“PLEEEAASE” She roared, getting all up in my grill. The child actually got up and knelt on her chair so she was closer to me as she screeched in my face.
I tried really hard, honestly, I did. But I just couldn’t help it, her manic little face was too funny. So I laughed. And then looked away, frantically covering my face with my hair and attempting to control my shaking shoulders.
As it turned out the only thing that got her eating, was a bit of old fashioned peer pressure, and the threat of no birthday cake for little girls who refuse to eat their dinner, with a spoon or otherwise.
Ruby 1, Mummy 0.
“PLEEEAASE” She roared, getting all up in my grill. The child actually got up and knelt on her chair so she was closer to me as she screeched in my face.
ahahahhahaaa
Kids eh, I can’t help but giggle when telling my little one off, or when his friends are being told off when we all meet up, and the more you try and keep it in the more you laugh!
I think it’s almost impossible to keep a straight face, my friend’s neighbour told her son to hold it together, which made it all the more funny. I had to bite the inside of my cheeks.
“Ruby where are your manners?”
“I’ve got Hello Kitty Manners.”
LOVE that Roo.
HAHA! My child is Hello Kitty obsessed at the moment. She wants me to buy a HK buggy board – I don’t know if such a thing even exists!
Properly funny, she is.
Oh that was so funny and I’m going through a touch of this atm how old is ruby
She is coming up 4. Whoever invented the terrible twos clearly hadn’t had a 3 year old yet. Much, much worse.
It was very very funny though.
don’t I keep hoping yougest will improve but given Ruby is fast approaching 4 I am in for the long haul! When you master it give me some tips! The tone is sadly not achieving anything here :( x
God they know how to call the shots don’t they? GG once threatened to wave her glove at us really hard if we didn’t play Ludo with her right now! I confess I more than laughed at her!
Pingback: 20-02-12 Love Mummy Weekly Showcase
Brilliant! I love the things she comes out with. My little one is coming out with some corkers at the moment. She is 2.5! but like a teenager already at times :/
This was our conversation before dinner:
Me “Dinner is ready”
LL “Whaaaaat do you want? I’m watching television”
Me (after making the mistake of saying she could watch until the end thinking it would only be max 5 mins) “This show is taking ages to finish, I’m not very happy about it”
LL “I know you are not, but I AM!”