If you are a regular on my blog, you’ll know my daughter had some minor surgery yesterday. Whilst she was recovering, someone telephoned the ward for some advice. I am assuming it was a parent of a recent patient, given what I gleaned from the conversation:
Staff Nurse A: “Hello, John Atwell Day Ward…. Yes… Yes… No, you don’t want to rub it, just pat it… It will be feeling quite sensitive for him”
At this point, Staff Nurse B, and Ward Sister C had stopped whatever they were doing and were listening intently to the conversation.
Staff Nurse A continued: “Yes, it will be sore for him… after that kind of surgery it will look a bit red… Yes, don’t rub it, just pat it… no, don’t rub it even in the bath. Don’t worry about cleaning it, just being in the bath will get it clean”
Cue raised eyebrows and stifled giggles from Staff Nurse B and Ward Sister C.
Staff Nurse A finished off her conversation about some unfortunate little boy’s sore willy and the very second she hung up the phone, all three of them dissolved into laughter bordering on hysterics.
Then, Staff Nurse B winced and said: “Yeah, he won’t want to rub it”
And Ward Sister C smirked: “Not until he’s older, anyway”.
“You think you know what a nurse does? You don’t!”