Today, whilst I was getting the children dressed in Ruby’s bedroom, a pigeon committed suicide on my roof.
It was actually really quite traumatic. There we were, putting on thermal vests and tights when out of nowhere there was an almighty thud on the window.
I admit I let out a bit of a squeal. It scared the hell out of me. Especially as I witnessed what happened next:
The stupid bird left a dirty bird print of itself on the window, rolled down to the very middle of the roof over our extension, started throwing it’s guts up, and promptly expired, right there on the roof. All in the space of about ten seconds. I suspect it broke it’s neck as it bashed into my house.
So, now not only do I have a dead pigeon slap bang in the middle of the roof, and a puddle of it’s hideous entrails hanging out of it’s beak, but someone I know (coughhusbandcough) will have to get up there and clean the mess up before the local cats sniff it out and rip it to shreds infront of my children’s bedroom windows. It really couldn’t have died in a less convenient place. There is no way we can get it down without borrowing a ladder and climbing up there.
It’s definitely a job for the boys.
And then that leaves me with another question: What on Earth do we do with a dead pigeon?
PIGEON PIE.
Fox food.
Eat it! On the plus side, it already emptied out some of its guts for you ready.
Laughed SO MUCH at this!!
Pingback: SunFun: So Long, Kamikaze Pigeon | I'm Counting UFOs
Pingback: 20-02-12 Love Humour Weekly Showcase
Yeah, something dies a horrible, agonising death and it’s an inconveniance because your shitty kids might see it? Hope they don’t inconveniance anyone by stepping in front a bus.
Woah there, PETA, someone got a little overexcited about my post. Maybe you should calm down a bit. Run yourself a nice bubble bath and drink some Horlicks.
By the way, I hope it’s super cosy there under your bridge.
I always prefer to spell correctly when making a complaint. It makes it easier for people to take me seriously.
It’s inconvenience. For the record.